Working with Perfectionists and Extremely Hardworking People in the Office

Now we understand that those people who overly love to keep things in a neat and orderly manner in their surrounding area are mostly due to their parents and teachers were extremely strict to them during their childhood. They had a sense of inferiority in the bottom of their heart and it resulted them to become a perfectionist unintentionally so as to keep up with the adults’ high expectation from them as a child. Hence, they had to get a 100% mark in whatever things that they do in order not to get scolded.

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Have you ever come across people who share similar perfectionist characteristics in your working area? For example, those managers who love cleanliness and cannot stand a single stain of dirts appearing in their office or those superiors who cannot forgive the staff for making even a minor mistake in the report? If you have encountered such people before, I guess these people might have given you a hard time to work with them and made you feel as if you don’t have any breathing space at all. Think about it. It might have something to do with the upbringing of their childhood. Their behaviours are vividly expressing the side effect of their suppressive childhood. Although they are a grown-up now and their parents do not have the control over them, their suppressive characteristics are forcing them to become a perfectionist without them knowing it.

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Similarly, the psychological effect does apply to those workers who are overly indulging in their work. This type of workers is usually afraid of making the same kind of mistakes for being sloven and lazy which had happened during their childhood. Thus, they work extremely hard to get the best result so as to hide their inferiority and anxiety complex. However, the fact is that these hardworking workers do not really care much about or interested in their work. They work hard just because they are afraid to be reprimanded for not doing his job well and at the same time wanted to get the recognition from their bosses.

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One way to judge whether these extremely hardworking workers really love their work or not is to see whether they do look down on those lazy, irresponsible and slouchingly co-workers. If their seriousness towards work is just to get rid of their anxiety and inferiority, the phenomenon of being lazy would surface once their mind is in a state of relaxation, thus exposing their true laziness in character.

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All in all, how we bring up a child is very important because it shapes the character of a person in the future. The psychological thinking would affect the behaviour and it is going to follow the person throughout his/her lifetime. What is started wrong in the beginning might not end up right in the end.

Published by: Silvery on October 20th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 3 Comments »

The Adult’s High Expection From A Doting Kid Is Forcing Him/Her To Become A Perfectionist

So, I had mentioned about the cause of the kids to be inferior was due to they were not loved by the adults in my previous post on ” Independent Child is lacked of Adult’s Love”. Some of you might ask : ” What about kids whose parents or guardian are doting on them but at the same time keep a strict hand over them and educate them to be disciplined children?”. In this case, the doting kid is exactly the opposite to that of the independent kid who is lacking of adult’s love. However, this doting kid will also exhibit a sense of inferiority which will make him fear that he has not done something good enough and result in getting reprimanded by the teachers or parents. In fact, this is another kind of inferiority complex as compared with the case of the independent kid who is neglected by the adults. Nevertheless, the inferiority complex grows within the kids of both cases. One thing in common is that they will try their best to find ways to get rid of their inferiority complexes. Most of the time, the disciplined child who is doted by the adults will grow up and become a perfectionist in his adulthood.

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Have you ever come across people who love cleanliness to the extend that the environment has to be perfectly clean and the decoration perfectly neat? Everything has to be neat and clean whether or not it is in the working place or in their own living space. This group of people loves cleanliness and everything has to take place in an orderly manner. The question is : “Why is this group of perfectionists torturing themselves by going into details and expecting results to be perfect? Well, it is not difficult to figure it out. As everybody knows that we saw ourselves as the “Me” during our infant stage and satisfied our own instinct as the main objective. That means that we were not concerning about our own body cleanliness or things surrounding us at that time. Although this kind of slovenly behaviour happening during the infant stage might not gradually disappear as we grow up, it is not going to be accepted by the society in any way. Furthermore, the teachers and parents will have their strong objection to the untidily and idling children for their behaviour.

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As you can see, the habit of keeping things clean and putting things in an orderly manner is mostly originated from the childhood. The inferiority complex is caused by the strict demand on the children’s well behaviour from the parents and teachers. The way to seek freedom from getting scolded by the adults is to do every single thing perfect. The adult’s high expection from a kid is forcing him/her to become a perfectionist when he/she grows up due to their childhood inferiority complex.

Published by: Silvery on September 25th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 2 Comments »

Independent Child is Lacked of Adult’s Love

As mentioned in the earlier post, psychologist Alfred Adler did say that 90% of our inferiority complex was originated from our infant stage. We all know that young children have a strong bond towards their parents and they rely on them for whatever things that they do. If this kind of reliance is being suppressed by certain reason such as the parents are not doting on the child, this will result in the child to behave very independently. Although the child is at such a young age, he is forcing himself to be independent and to complete whichever tasks on their own ability without relying on their parents. Once a person is inclined to such an independent personality since childhood, it will form into a character speciality in his youth or adulthood. This unique characteristic is going to stay for life.

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A child by nature has to depend and rely on the adults as they are unable to do all the things by themselves. The way to disguise the child’s anxiety and inferiority complex is to force himself to go against the norm and force himself to be independent due to they cannot get the care and attention from the adults. However, this doesn’t mean that this person has a strong and independent character because his independence is just a self-defence for himself to run away from his anxiety and inferiority for the lack of love from the adults. Gradually, this person will become a self-centred person rather than a perfectionist in his adulthood.

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The child’s inferiority complex quoted above is caused by their needs, care and concerns are neglected by the adults or parents. He can do whatever he likes to do because there are nobody out there to control him. The freedom to do whatever he likes to do make him independent. Also, his self-centredness make him strong. So, we can see that the inferiority complex originated from the childhood shapes the person’s character development for life.

Published by: Silvery on September 16th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 3 Comments »

Is a Workaholic really love his work more than anything else?

As in everybody’s mind, a workaholic loves his work and never feels tired after working for long hours. He has high responsibility and full commitment towards his work. He can be regarded as a working machine as if he has endless deadlines to meet. The reason is simple. This could help him find his worth, confidence and enjoyment by indulging himself in his work. Is a workaholic really love his job so much? It may not be the case. A workaholic is so because he is mostly trying to run away from the family problem or maybe because he is unhappy with some happenings outside his work or he has deep-rooted inferiority complex lying within him. Meaning to say, he is trying to use reality to get rid of another reality problem. This is in fact a kind of inferiority complex whereby the afflicted person is specifically over-indulging in doing certain event and it reaches a stage whereby he cannot extract himself from doing so.

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For example, a workaholic might have some problem getting along with his wife but doesn’t have the courage to file for a separation. He finds that both he and his wife no longer have the common interests and understandings. Their thinkings and lifestyles are drifting further and further away. They don’t have a common topic in their conversation and often quarrel over trivial matters. All this unhappiness existing in his house forces him to stay away from home. This is the reason why he treats his office as his second home. It seems to be the best way to escape from the despairness and disappointment that are confronting him by burying himself in his work.

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By understanding the thinking of the inferior workaholics and the driving force behind them, it could help us to keep a good relationship with them. We should not try to deny their contribution and accomplishment towards their work. Otherwise, they would treat us as their enemies. The worst scenario is that they might find life is meaningless to them and lose their determination to press on.

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Published by: Silvery on September 8th, 2007 | Filed under Understanding Inferiority | 2 Comments »

Escaping from the Reality…..Living in an Illusive World.

A person who draws a very clear line between work and personal matter is frequently being regarded as impartial. In addition to this, work to him is the most important and it always comes before any other matters as if work is the only thing that worths his attention in his life. Is this really so? Not really. This is a reflection of the person who mostly is not living happily in his daily life. Although this person might have strong desires in life, somehow he cannot turn them into reality most of the time. So, the best thing to do is to channel the motivation and energy to somewhere else. Where to? Probably, he has to channel it to an illusive world. This is because only illusion could help him to go after his dreams and fulfill his wishes. In this way, it could help him to get rid of his inferiority complex consciousness.

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As driven by the subconscious mind of escaping from a reality, the person would usually segregate the discontented daily life and his own ideal world into two extreme territories. Meaning to say, “reality is reality” and “ownself is ownself”. This kind of psychological subconsciousness is vividly displayed in his behaviour at work. On the other hand, it could also be displayed in his social life whereby he will only talk about things not relating to his work during personal gatherings. As you can see, the line is drawn very clearly. This kind of behaviour by escaping from the reality in fact exposes the anxiety lying within him. Most of the time, this category of people is not happy with the title that they are holding in a company or not satisfied with the work that they are doing or not having a good relationship with their boss, subordinates and colleagues.

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Nevertheless, the behaviour of escaping from the reality could help an inferiority complex afflicted person in search of his dreams and wishes by indulging himself in the illusive world. It could help to remove the unhappiness and disappointment that the person might face in the reality. Perhaps, this is a way out to let himself get balance out psychologically.

Published by: Silvery on September 2nd, 2007 | Filed under Understanding Inferiority | Comment now »

Saying the wrong thing

Saying the wrong thing is in fact speaking the truth. The phenomenon of saying the wrong thing usually happens during occasion whereby an inferiority complex afflicted person can’t help saying it even though he doesn’t intend to say so. This is a reflection of his unwillingness to admit a certain reality. Perhaps he is against somebody. Not only speaking the truth will hurt the feelings of others, it will also expose the conscious weakness of the speaker.  There is always a reason why a person would say a wrong thing in certain occasion. We can analyze what the person is thinking by the things that he says. There bounds to be a motive behind. It could be the person is holding some personal grudges with the targeted person even though both of them are good working partners.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Saying the wrong thing | Comment now »

Going after branded goods

Going after branded goods is the reflection of putting on inferiority complex to one’s body. Everybody loves branded goods because it signifies one’s social status and strong purchasing power. Branded goods are expensive stuff but it doesn’t mean that they are good or reflect the buyers have high quality of taste. However, there are a lot of people worshipping branded goods and are willing to spend huge sum of money on buying these expensive stuff. This is interesting, right?

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We all know that only the affluent people can afford to buy the so-called high-pricing branded goods such as LV handbags, Rolex watches, Ralph Lauren shirts, Chanel designer dresses, etc. In other words, buying branded goods symbolizes the trademark of the rich and upper-class society. However, there are some people out there wish to squeeze into the category of so-called high social status but unable to fulfill their dreams. The only way out is to imitate the habits of the rich people by going after the purchase of branded dresses, jewelry, watches, shoes and so on. Their act is just to make themselves feel better and get even psychologically. Whereas, the fact is that this group of people does not have a strong purchasing power but like to imitate the lifestyle of the affluence by taking up golf course, joining country club membership, going for tour at least once a year and so on.

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As mentioned earlier, branded goods is a trademark which equates to an imprinted marking. The marking is used to differentiate the upper-class from the lower-class of people. But the question is : “Why do people want to feel more superior than the others by making themselves living the way which the rich people do?”. There must be some complex psychological motives lying behind in these people’s heart. The psychologists have simplified these psychological motives into two categories, namely the inferiority complex and the anxiety complex. In simplicity, those people who act to be rich are in fact feeling inferior to be classified under the lower-class society and caused anxiety for being looked down by others. This is the reason as to why they have to put on the branded-goods markings on their bodies so as to tell the whole world and also to hypnothize themselves that they are different from the rest.

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From this, we can say that those people who like to go after branded goods are mostly having some psychologically weaknesses. In this case, it is to wear their inferiority complex and anxiety complex on their bodies.

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But again, we have to respect this group of inferiority and anxiety afflicted people because they are in a way having their superiority. By understanding the way they think could help us to grasp their psychological speciality and know how to get along with them harmoniously.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Going after branded goods | Comment now »

Best Medicine for Getting Rid of Inferiority Complex

Authority is the best medicine to get rid of a person’s inferiority complex. Why do people yearn to have power and authority? This is because everybody does have a morbid feeling of being inferior to others and may try to win recognition for himself by boasting and being aggressive. There are a lot of people who tend to behave arrogantly after they get promoted to the next level or to be part of the senior management, say senior manager, director, vice president, head of department, etc. For example, they refuse to talk to the lower levels, say junior engineer, account assistant, storeman, etc. directly and they have to get the more senior staff to be their middle man to help pass the message instead. Their intention is simple. It is to let people feel that they now have higher status and  authority.  Generally, people think that authority is determined by one’s capability, ability and position. However, the fact is just like what the psychologist has put it, the yearning for authority is a magnified behaviour which mostly due to one cannot fulfill the desires hidden within him. Thus, giving rise to the development of inferiority complex subconsciously.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Best Medicine | Comment now »

Nobody would admit that he is living with his Inferiority Complex

Everybody has his own ego so nobody will ever admit that he is afflicted with inferiority complex. He will usually try to disguise his inferiority complex by giving some excuses. However, the more excuses that he gives, the more it will reveal his behaviour abnormality.

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For example, a hiring agency had conducted a survey on the topic of whether the employees were happy with their job in a certain corporation. Of a group of 100 people surveyed, the findings revealed that most of the people were not happy with their jobs because they found that their salaries were too low and the jobs were monotonous. However, the fact was that the people did not like the jobs that they were doing instead of their salaries were low. The low salary was just an excuse.Their intention was to use this excuse as a hint so that the head of department could transfer them to other departments so as to let them do those jobs that they like to do.

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In another case, there are some supervisors who like to find fault in their employees over nitty-gritty such as illegible hand-writtings, late submission of the task, typo error in emails, etc. The fact is that the supervisors are jealous that their subordinates are much more capable than them and do not wish to acknowledge that they themselves are lousy. Their inferiority complex forces them to use some excuses as tools to mask off the superiority of others who are out-performing them.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Denying Inferiority | Comment now »

Why do we need to understand psychological weaknesses and inferiority complex?

This is because it could help us to dissolve all kinds of conflicts and misunderstandings when dealing with people by understanding their psychological weaknesses and inferiority complex. It could help us to spot the sensitivity of people and avoid putting salts on wounds so as to maintain a good relationship with them. This is especially important during social interaction because misunderstanding could hurt a person far more than an ill-intention. Knowing your own weaknesses and your opponent’s weaknesses could help you to make a better deal in business when competing with people.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Psychological Weaknesses | Comment now »

Who are the people afflicted with inferiority complex?

The answer is : “Everybody!”. Yes, this includes myself, yourself, your boss, your friends, your idol, your mentor, the passers-by, the great public speaker, the glamourous supermodel, the famous superstar, the successful businessman, the skillful F1 racer, the top stock investor and so on. So you see, you are not alone if you have the inferiority complex. 

Why? Because the most determined and strong person would also have his or her corner of darkness etched on the heart. Of course, the afflicted person would never admit that he or she is living with his/her inferior complex because this is not something one would be proud of . You have to discover it by reading and decoding their behaviour, their language, their attitude, etc. Inferiority complex is just like our shadow which follows us whenever we go throughout our lifetime. It influences our character, our life and our fate. It decides the way we live our life. Psychologist, Alfred Adler, once said : “90% of our inferiority complex come about during our infant stage”.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 1 Comment »

Turning Inferiority Complex into Superiority

You could be an Inferiority Conqueror by turning inferiority complex from a resistance to a helping force. People all along regard inferiority complex as a resistance especially when it comes to social interaction. Everybody hopes to grasp the psychological weaknesses of other people when interacting with them so as to avoid stepping on their toes unintentionally. In this way, they can turn enemies into friends. This blog is to give some tips to the readers on how to identify and understand yours and other people’s inferiority complex. Thereby, discovering the weaknesses of those people who intend to hide from you through their unknowing behaviour. Thus, turning inferiority complex into energy and power. Behind those behaviour, language and attitude that people shown to people, there are indeed desires and anxieties hidden inside the heart of these people.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Turning Inferiority into Superiority | Comment now »

Learning how to cope with inferiority complex

Inferiority complex does exist in everybody’s heart no matter how handsome, ugly, rich or poor a person is. It bounds to happen in the lifetime of people. There would be a moment a person feels or experiences that he is inferior to others in certain aspect. It is a matter of how a person deals with inferiority complex that makes a difference. Knowing how to deal with inferiority complex could make a loser turn into a winner in life. Understanding how inferiority complex could affect our life and from there change the way we view it so as to build up a good relationship with our own inferiority complex. We could even make good use of it to change the way we live our life and succeed in our social interacting with people. As the saying goes : “ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!”. And you’ll find it a whole new world to live in.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Coping with Inferiority | 6 Comments »

Understanding Inferiority Complex

When a person is born into this world, he tends to think that he is more superior than anybody else and becomes self-centred. However, when he graudually discovers that this is not the case and it is impossible to stay in the limelight all the time, he will start to lose his confidence and thereby his inferiority complex will start to manifest. But then, inferiority complex is just like the sex organ of the human body whereby it is something private and personal. It cannot be revealed to other people and one would have the tendency to protect it. This then results in the development of some kind of strange reflectivity or weird behaviour whereby the afflicted person will try all means to hide his inferiority so as to protect himself.

Published by: Silvery on August 25th, 2007 | Filed under Understanding Inferiority | Comment now »

What is Inferiority Complex?

Inferiority Complex is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. It is a state of mind in which a person who has a morbid feeling of being inferior to others may try to win recognition for himself by boasting and being agressive. When a person feels that he is not as good as other people or feels defeated or is being rejected, this is indeed the very moment that inferiority complex comes in and weighs a person down. It could pull the feeling of the afflicted person deep down to the bottom of the canyon and not reaching out to the sunlight. Inferiority complex is a kind of energy which could destroy a person and make him feels like living in a world of darkness, living each day as if it is a doomsday. Or it is a kind of power which could boost a person to achieve something great in life and feel as if given a second chance to live. In the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, inferiority complex is a feeling that could arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. Such feeling is in the subconscious mind and could drive the person to obtain spectacular achievement or it could cause the person to be extreme in the behaviour.