Independent Child is Lacked of Adult’s Love

Independent ChildAs mentioned in the earlier post, psychologist Alfred Adler did say that 90% of our inferiority complex was originated from our infant stage. We all know that young children have a strong bond towards their parents and they rely on them for whatever things that they do. If this kind of reliance is being suppressed by certain reason such as the parents are not doting on the child, this will result in the child to behave very independently. Although the child is at such a young age, he is forcing himself to be independent and to complete whichever tasks on their own ability without relying on their parents. Once a person is inclined to such an independent personality since childhood, it will form into a character speciality in his youth or adulthood. This unique characteristic is going to stay for life.

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A child by nature has to depend and rely on the adults as they are unable to do all the things by themselves. The way to disguise the child’s anxiety and inferiority complex is to force himself to go against the norm and force himself to be independent due to they cannot get the care and attention from the adults. However, this doesn’t mean that this person has a strong and independent character because his independence is just a self-defence for himself to run away from his anxiety and inferiority for the lack of love from the adults. Gradually, this person will become a self-centred person rather than a perfectionist in his adulthood.

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The child’s inferiority complex quoted above is caused by their needs, care and concerns are neglected by the adults or parents. He can do whatever he likes to do because there are nobody out there to control him. The freedom to do whatever he likes to do make him independent. Also, his self-centredness make him strong. So, we can see that the inferiority complex originated from the childhood shapes the person’s character development for life.

Published by: Silvery on September 16th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons



3 Responses to “Independent Child is Lacked of Adult’s Love”

  1. Lynne Says:
    September 29th, 2007 at 10:45 pm

    Sorry, maybe I’m misunderstanding your post, but the way I read it is that a study has been done saying that if your child is independent that means you as a parent did not nurture the child? If that’s the case, I must disagree. I love my daughter to pieces and dote on her all the time. But, she is very independent and can play just as well on her own as with others. We have been extremely nurturing parents and our daughter is the stronger for it. Sorry if I’ve misunderstood.

  2. Silvery Says:
    October 1st, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    Hi Lynne,
    Thanks for your comments.

    The case of the independent child as stated in the post is actually viewed from a psychological perspective. The child doesn’t get enough love and attention from the parents is forcing himself to be strong and independent. However, his independence doesn’t come naturally. It is mostly caused by certain reasons such as the parents are blaming on him to bring bad luck to the family or blaming on him to indirectly cause death to his younger sibling due to his negligence to look after the younger brother well when they were playing near a river and so on. All these unhappinesses are suppressing inside his heart. He has no choice but to force himself to be strong so as to hide his inferiority and anxiety for not getting the love from the adults. I must say this is a sad and unfortunate case.

    As for the case of your daughter, she is a very independent child by nature. I must congratulate her for having such a nurturing and loving mommy. I must also congratulate you and your husband for having such a happy and independent child. You all must have given your daughter lots and lots of love. That’s the reason why she is psychologically and physically healthy. Her case is definitely different from that of the poor child as mentioned in the post. I hope your query is being answered.

    I wish you and your family happiness always!

    Yours Sincerely,
    Silvery

  3. Monica Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    Absolutely great blog! I’ve only read a few posts, but it’s very very interesting!

    I was a very independent child *after* my baby brother was born. For all the reasons you’ve stated here.

    My three kids are *not* independent, and are very much close to me for guidance and are just now beginning to reach out for independence at 15 and 17 years old. Albiet slowly.

    I always wondered why they were not like me - on my own, doing my own thing. They are very close to the house but very healthy with friends and such that just come on over to our house to get together.

    I see the difference.

    Thanks for the writing, I’ll be coming back through if that’s okay. ;)

    ~Monica~

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