The Adult’s High Expection From A Doting Kid Is Forcing Him/Her To Become A Perfectionist

So, I had mentioned about the cause of the kids to be inferior was due to they were not loved by the adults in my previous post on ” Independent Child is lacked of Adult’s Love”. Some of you might ask : ” What about kids whose parents or guardian are doting on them but at the same time keep a strict hand over them and educate them to be disciplined children?”. In this case, the doting kid is exactly the opposite to that of the independent kid who is lacking of adult’s love. However, this doting kid will also exhibit a sense of inferiority which will make him fear that he has not done something good enough and result in getting reprimanded by the teachers or parents. In fact, this is another kind of inferiority complex as compared with the case of the independent kid who is neglected by the adults. Nevertheless, the inferiority complex grows within the kids of both cases. One thing in common is that they will try their best to find ways to get rid of their inferiority complexes. Most of the time, the disciplined child who is doted by the adults will grow up and become a perfectionist in his adulthood.

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Have you ever come across people who love cleanliness to the extend that the environment has to be perfectly clean and the decoration perfectly neat? Everything has to be neat and clean whether or not it is in the working place or in their own living space. This group of people loves cleanliness and everything has to take place in an orderly manner. The question is : “Why is this group of perfectionists torturing themselves by going into details and expecting results to be perfect? Well, it is not difficult to figure it out. As everybody knows that we saw ourselves as the “Me” during our infant stage and satisfied our own instinct as the main objective. That means that we were not concerning about our own body cleanliness or things surrounding us at that time. Although this kind of slovenly behaviour happening during the infant stage might not gradually disappear as we grow up, it is not going to be accepted by the society in any way. Furthermore, the teachers and parents will have their strong objection to the untidily and idling children for their behaviour.

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As you can see, the habit of keeping things clean and putting things in an orderly manner is mostly originated from the childhood. The inferiority complex is caused by the strict demand on the children’s well behaviour from the parents and teachers. The way to seek freedom from getting scolded by the adults is to do every single thing perfect. The adult’s high expection from a kid is forcing him/her to become a perfectionist when he/she grows up due to their childhood inferiority complex.

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Published by: Silvery on September 25th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 2 Comments »

Independent Child is Lacked of Adult’s Love

As mentioned in the earlier post, psychologist Alfred Adler did say that 90% of our inferiority complex was originated from our infant stage. We all know that young children have a strong bond towards their parents and they rely on them for whatever things that they do. If this kind of reliance is being suppressed by certain reason such as the parents are not doting on the child, this will result in the child to behave very independently. Although the child is at such a young age, he is forcing himself to be independent and to complete whichever tasks on their own ability without relying on their parents. Once a person is inclined to such an independent personality since childhood, it will form into a character speciality in his youth or adulthood. This unique characteristic is going to stay for life.

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A child by nature has to depend and rely on the adults as they are unable to do all the things by themselves. The way to disguise the child’s anxiety and inferiority complex is to force himself to go against the norm and force himself to be independent due to they cannot get the care and attention from the adults. However, this doesn’t mean that this person has a strong and independent character because his independence is just a self-defence for himself to run away from his anxiety and inferiority for the lack of love from the adults. Gradually, this person will become a self-centred person rather than a perfectionist in his adulthood.

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The child’s inferiority complex quoted above is caused by their needs, care and concerns are neglected by the adults or parents. He can do whatever he likes to do because there are nobody out there to control him. The freedom to do whatever he likes to do make him independent. Also, his self-centredness make him strong. So, we can see that the inferiority complex originated from the childhood shapes the person’s character development for life.

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Published by: Silvery on September 16th, 2007 | Filed under Inferiority Afflicted Persons | 3 Comments »